Effective communication skills are necessary for smooth relations with other people. They can be your family, friends, colleagues or even strangers. Communication is engaging in an exchange with another person. Knowing how to communicate effectively will help you get across what you mean more efficiently. You do not need a long list of do’s and don’ts for verbal use. You do need to understand that language is not always exact. It carries possibilities for misunderstanding if not carefully controlled. Some general guidelines for selecting words and some tips for effective communication are noted in the following;
Be Exact: Try to find the most precise and specific words. Pay attention to feedback that indicates how the meaning is perceived by the receiver.
Use the word “is” carefully: When you say; “He is radical,” you may really mean, “He seems to be a radical.” There is a vast difference between the two statements, and each might bring a different reactions.
Avoid Over generalization: Lumping groups together verbally expresses a distorted vision of the world. Prejudice and stereotyping (assuming that an individual will think and act according to your notion of the typical member of that sex or that ethnic, racial, or religious group) rarely produce useful dialogue.
Be sensitive to connotative meaning: Connotative meanings are not the definitions found in a dictionary. Rather, they are the emotional or implied meanings we attach to certain words. Even if your intent is to make a simple factual statement, the connotative meaning of a term can offend someone. If your neighbors pet is not from a single breed, you would probably not want to describe it as a mongrel. The connotative meaning of the term mongrel is insulting. We reveal a great deal about our attitudes to others if we are insensitive to the connotative meanings of words.
Do not to overuse you or your: One sure way to produce a defensive reaction is to assign ownership. “Your boss made another silly statement in his meeting last night” is almost guaranteed to produce an argument rather than a discussion.
Although we now that messages can be sent in verbal form, we may not be aware of how the choice of words affects the ability of the receiver to decode our message accurately. So we should keep in mind the importance of words in message sending.
Count from 1 to 10: When you get in the middle of an intense argument or when someone suddenly lashes out at you, don’t get mad right away. Count 1 to 10 before responding. This will make you aware that the person you are speaking to might just be experiencing severe stress and does not intend to attack you personally.
Recognize that you don’t know all the answers to all questions: If you don’t know the answer just say that you don’t know. You don’t have to make other people feel and think that you know everything.
Listen to other people’s concerns. People need to be heard just like you do. More importantly, take the initiative to share in other people’s feelings.
Always remember that what others may not mean the way we think they mean it: Our values, beliefs and judgments may have altered the meaning of what someone has said. Always allow for the possibility that our impression of what someone has said may not be true.
Focus on common interests rather than differences: This will help you direct your energy to promoting the common interest and making everyone happier, and will also help you avoid frustration. Be aware when you impinge on someone’s space. Personal space is very important for most people. When you impinge on their space try to ask them respectfully. Tell them the reason you have to impinge on their space.
Think positive: Always see the glass as half full rather than half empty. Doing so will help you reduce stress. Also it can keep you motivated and pleasant when you deal with other people. Communicating can be a pleasant and enriching experience when you try to do it more effectively. These simple pointers can help you moving towards more effectively dealing with others, and will save you a great deal of stress and energy.